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automatically:

when your parents cancel your plans and you’re like “fine”

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ursula-theseabitch:

So you telling me that the U.S has completely cured the American doctor with Ebola in 26 days and he’s being released today. While Africa has been dealing with it since the 70’s and they are still looking for a cure?

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kingofcreppyisland:

Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out

Me:

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"I’ll swallow my blood before I swallow my pride."
-Al Capone (via paintdeath)
"It takes 4 seconds for a silence to become awkward."
-(via psych-facts)

jollygemma:

when my parents ask me why i’m always on my laptop

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gllorious:

mom can you give me $1000000 please it’s for school

apuarius:

Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked

sctot:

i heard the funniest time travel joke tomorrow

skelebrina:

punkbeds:

BOYS TO AVOID:
-boys that are against feminism
-boys that call girls sluts and whores
-boys that think a vagina gets loose after having a lot of sex
-white boys that use the n word
-bronies

-boys that fall asleep after sex without making sure their partner is satisfied
-boys that insult others to compliment you
-boys that insult anyone
-boys that are rude to their parents

wet-monsoon:

oktober2nd:

lana-loves-lingua-latina:

if “barnacles” is a curse word in Spongebob, then how do you explain Barnacle Boy’s name

He’s a fuck boy

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